Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Business Of Forgiveness

Doesn't it always seem that no matter what you are going through, when ever you turn on the radio, it seems that song always applies to you!? 

Or is that just me?

Recently Ive been dealing with a hard and hurtful situation.
I've been sad, hurt, confused, mad, sad, hurt, disappointed, sad, hurt..... 

Did I mention SAD & HURT?

Anyways, Ive been praying a lot on how to handle this situation.
Asking God for strength, and comfort and most of all Wisdom.

And lately it seems I cant get into my car without the first song I hear being about FORGIVENESS.
I think there are about 3 or maybe 4 different songs about forgiveness that play on K-Love or Air1.
I don't believe in coincidence...
I know what God is telling me to do, right there.

I often feel God speaks to me through music a lot.
Music is one way that really prepares my heart and opens it up to hear from God.
Its my favorite form or worship.

This Sunday at church, I was on the worship team.
And I felt like every song we sung that morning was MEANT FOR ME.
Was God saying "LISTEN to these words."
"See, I am comforting you. I am confirming what you already know. I am loving you.
I am blessing you. I am giving you strength. I will never let go of you. But you do need to let this go.
Be still, and know that I AM."

It took all I could manage, not to totally LOSE IT on stage this Sunday.
Not to break down into "the ugly cry" right there in front of everyone.
But you better believe I turned what would have been the ugly cry into utter surrendered worship.
My eyes closed tight, my hands raised up in surrender, singing my heart out.
NOT as one who leads worship for the congregation, but one who was alone in a moment with God.
One who forgot everything and everyone else around me and wanted so desperately for God to wash over me.
To wash away all the hurt and pain and sadness I was feeling.

I cry now as I write this... Just thinking about it.


Because HE DID.

Yes. I am still a little wounded.
No things are not the same as they were.
Yes trust has been broken.
Yes relationships and hearts still need to be mended.

But I feel like yes, forgiveness is what is needed.
Forgiveness is what He is telling me.
Forgiveness is what HE GAVE TO ME, and to EVERYONE!
So, Forgiveness is what I WILL GIVE.

And I TRUST in GOD and HIS enduring faithfulness.
Because I know that even though people fail (I certainly have many times) that God does NOT fail.
Things will be better, and peace will come.
I know it will come.
Because I trust God, who heals all things.

I was also reminder that even HE knows what its like to be hurt, yet He still loves and forgives.
Jesus is our model of forgiveness...
Even while being crucified, He prayed for and forgave his persecutors! 

 I appreciate all the kind words of support and encouragement many of you have given me.
I am uplifted by the prayers some of you have committed to sending for me.
I hope that through my struggles, my thoughts, my lessons, my words on this little blog,
that you too, who are hurting or struggling can find some comfort.
 I pray that God will use me, to uplift His name and bring some light, love and comfort
those of you who are also in need.

Lamentations 3:22-24

The Message (MSG)
22-24 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.

Much Love & Hugs,
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  1. Gosh i am SO sorry you are hurting right now. I wish i could help. You are such a great person. I know you will find your way through. Keep strong.

    1. You taking the time to comment and leave an encouraging word to me is a lot of help. Thank you sweet friend. ♥

  2. Amen!! I'm just loving your writing lately lol
    I know how hard forgiveness can be. I'm still trying to forgive my inlaws completely because they have been so mean to me ever since I joined the family. I think it's an on going process when it's a big issue. Taking up our cross daily sort of thing. We are human and sometimes it's just hard to put others first!

    1. Oh that's definitely a hard thing to overcome. Especially when you cant just walk away from a situation like that! :( So sorry to hear, my niece is dealing with this right now... She just got engaged but her future in laws are giving her Hell. Its sad, really, and so uncalled for. But she is handling it so well. As I am sure you are too. In situations like this I am reminded of Jesus and how He too had to deal with people just plain being mean to Him for no real, or good reason. Its comforting to know we are not alone. That God himself KNOWS what its like. And we can find comfort in that. ♥

  3. God Bless you Beautiful Sister in Christ!! You are such an inspiration to others ALL the time, we hurt for you when you hurt. You are on the right path, beiieving HE will get you thru this. He IS sending you messages in the songs. You ARE listening & Forgiving, therefore YOU will heal. It may sound silly but if you EVER need to talk, you know how to reach me! EVEN if you just want someone 'outside' the sitch to pray w/. I have such a heavy heart knowing you are sad. Keep your eyes & head UP! Love you!!!! kweenbee_612@yahoo.com

    1. Thank you so much Chelle! Your words always are a comfort to me. I know I can always count on you. You're very wise and I appreciate the prayers so much. THANK YOU.

  4. Maria, I feel your pain! I too have had a similar situation where forgiveness was the only answer. Actually, I've had two in the very recent past, but I can tell you, the relief felt upon forgiving that person(s) is IMMENSE!!! In one situation, it was my own mother, whom I've been estranged from for 3 yrs due to the handling of my grandparents estate. I was finally able to forgive her in August of this year, thanks to some wonderful Christian counseling, and will be seeing her for the first time in 3 yrs this Sunday evening. (I'm in TX, she's in OH, but down to visit my Great Aunt.) The other situation is one of divorce. After 20 yrs, I finally made the step I should have probably at least 15 yrs ago. I've been participating in a Christian based program called DivorceCare and our lesson last week was on forgiveness. When I watched the video on it, I thought - NO WAY! But in the ensuing week, working through the "homework" I suddenly realized that I ALREADY HAD - HONESTLY - FORGIVEN HIM!!! I feel so fantastically free today, after just realizing that yesterday that I cannot begin to explain the lightness of spirit I am experiencing today! So God Bless you and whomever the issue is with. I pray that He will guide you on your journey of forgiveness.

    1. Lora,

      That brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing this with me. Praise God, isnt the freedom of forgiveness wonderful. Yes its hard to overcome and things can be so hurtful. But I am rejoicing with you and the freedom you feel from this! It gives me much hope. Thank you again, friend. I do hope the reunion with your mom went beautifully. ♥

  5. Forgiveness is so so hard. Maybe not for everyone, but I struggled with it for about three years after a major hurt, and the struggle continues on a smaller scale every single day. I am praying that you aren't going through what I did, and I hope you feel better soon!

  6. Grace and Peace dear sister. We've all been in similar places. God bless you and bring you out of the fire more refined and as pure as gold.

  7. I am so glad you wrote this, Maria-Isabel. The Bible is all about redemption and restoration! I think we tend to try and "protect" ourselves and just walk away from hurtful people or relationships. But honestly, that's not very Christ-like, is it? I'm so glad HE never walked out on me.

    Thanks for linking up to Desire to Inspire!


Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your thoughts with me!

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