Monday, December 3, 2012

I Need You Now

 Sweater: Debb Shops, Rockstar Skinnies: Old Navy, Flats: Payless,
Bracelet: Premier Designs, Headband & Necklace: Agape Love Designs

Well, everybody's got a story to tell. And everybody's got a wound to be healed.
I want to believe there's beauty here. Cause, oh, I get so tired of holding on...
I can't let go, I can't move on. I want to believe there's meaning here.

How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan, wondering how I got to where I am.
I'm trying to hear that still small voice. I'm trying to hear above the noise!

How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you, God, I need you now.

Though I walk, though I walk through the shadows and I, I am so afraid.
Please stay, please stay right beside me, with every single step I take.

How many times have you heard me cry out?

And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out "God please take this"?

How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?
Oh I need you God, I need you now.

I need you now... I need you now
*
Ive mentioned before, recently, that Ive been dealing with a hurt that has happened. 
And Ive shared how Ive been dealing with it, here & here too.
It seemed things were going to be getter better.
I had every hope that they would.
And then things got worse.
(I know I'm being super vague here, and I apologize for that. I just find it helps to write about it, without airing out my "dirty laundry" for the whole world. So, bare with me. I'm hoping that, in writing about my journey through this hurt, it can still help others who may also be going through some kind of hurt of their own.)

My heart has been broken, and then shattered.
I'm hurting so much.
This weekend I did so much crying.
And though yes, I am "smiling"....
However, my eyes, puffy and tired, betray that smile.

Ive been sort of clinging to the phrase "Things always get worse before they get better."
And asking God, "Ok how much worse can it get? Are we there yet, because it hurts so much! God please take this! God, I know only YOU can fix this. God HELP ME. I have no more words. All I can do it cry. And cry out to you. God, take this. Make it beautiful again. I'm trusting you to do that. Please, I need you."
Its funny how a song can totally relay exactly how I feel.
Just the other day I was driving and this song came on, and tears started filling my eyes...
As every word has been one thats been in my thoughts lately.
Just about every word has been my prayer lately.
Every word describes my heart lately.
And I thought, wow-YES, this is so where I am at right now.

So, I will just continue to cling to God.
To have faith that there IS beauty and meaning to all this.
And TRUST that God CAN and WILL bring that to light.
Know that He will fix this situation, and soften hearts... 
Give those who need it, strength, wisdom, guidance and the words to speak to others.
Whether its apologies, forgiveness, or just humility to accept and even give grace and mercy to those who need it.

*Song lyrics Plumb "Need You Now (How Many Times)
Ive included the video to the song lyrics Ive shared above.
If you have the chance, please give it a listen, I know you will love it.


Much Love & Hugs,
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11 comments:

  1. Love your outfit!

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  2. I'm sorry you're hurting, but can I try to cheer you up and just say that you look FANTASTIC?!! You have done an incredible job of keeping up with your weight loss goals, and I wish I had that kind of dedication! I know it's weird that I'm posting anonymously, but I don't have an account...I just like to read your blog.

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  3. Will be praying your strength in the Lord, sometimes we hurt and yes Lord we need him now to tell us what to do, or to keep us from burrowing in our problems! I also listen to a daily song called I need you now by Smokie Norful and Let the church say Amen by Marvin Winans!

    You r outfit is beautiful, love your headband!

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  4. That is one of my favorite songs right now. I pray that God will heal your hurt and give you strength to heal and move on. You do look lovely! Love that sweater. :)

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  5. I love that bow and that song. It really connects to your soul.

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  6. I've been wearing bow headbands this week and I jumped for joy at the sight of your beautiful spotty one! xo

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  7. That headband matches your blog background!

    Also - are you okay??

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Thank you so much for taking the time to leave your thoughts with me!

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